In ancient Sparta, important matters were decided by who shouted loudest. Fortunately, we are not in ancient Sparta. – Sister Aloysius, Doubt (2008).
That was the quote in the movie Doubt, which was adapted from a play. The movie itself was not bad, but at the conclusion of the it, all I could say was “What the hell!?” That, however, is a story for another day.
I was doing some groceries shopping the other day and an incident reminded me of this dialogue in the movie. While standing in the queue, I noticed a somewhat pretty girl in standing in front of the counter. She was not paying, nor was she removing the goods from the counter or packing them into bags. In fact she was doing nothing, just standing there.
Next I noticed a woman in her late forties dealing with the goods and the cashier. She was obviously overly occupied with her task. The pretty girl just now showed some resemblance to this woman, so I assumed she was the mother. My attention shifted to the third lady in her mid to late twenties, standing there with her (presumed) sister overlooking a baby. She had piercings on her face, and her overall style activated my internal stereotype analyser to churn out the value “single mother’.
I looked at the busy and hurried state of their mother, and looked at the daughters not doing anything to help her. The cashier shook his head in a way that indicated disappointment, and the mother did the same, with a hint of anger added. I looked at the daughters with extreme disappointment.
After they went away, it was my turn at the cashier. I packed my stuff, my sister paid for them, and we walked away quickly to repack our groceries. All of a sudden, a commotion broke out. A high decibel voice ensued.
“Who do you think you are!? HUH!? Who do you think you are!? My baby is upstairs crying and you are accusing us of stealing!?” The “single mother” shouted loudly over and over directly in the face of another woman. This woman is in plain clothes, so I can only conclude she’s a plain-clothed guard/thieves identifier, or she’s a good-Samaritan customer who suspected the “single mother” of stealing. All the while of being shouted, she just stood there not making a sound nor a move.
At this point, I was looking at them and the low manners and etiquette shown by the “single mother”. In fact, everyone was looking at her. She was still shouting, and the manager and other guards are there to calm things down and solve the issue. In my mind, I deduced that she had no “baby crying upstairs” and in fact was probably lying.
Firstly, she was free when her mother was paying. She could have gone upstairs to attend to her baby. Secondly, her other baby is in the pram, and she could have brought both babies out. Thirdly, her younger sister is there and she could have been taking care of the “baby upstairs”. Fourthly, she looked guilty. Need I say more? I had enough of it, and I walked away.
The reason I brought this up is because Malaysia has always been described as having a “First World Infrastructure, Third World Mentality”. Sadly, this culture is still alive and well even in a developed country of Australia. This is not even the first time I witnessed similar events. The attitude of a lot of the younger generation has serious problem, ranging from the incident I just described to downright racism.
Thankfully, they are isolated events and fortunately, this is not Sparta. Raising one’s voice does nothing other than lowering one’s quality, manners and etiquette. The next time you are about to raise your voice, do consider about this little incident. And certainly, sometimes I need to be reminded of that too.